No Consolation
by Melcangel
Summary: “That’s what I feel every time he kisses me, Paul. It’s no consolation. I need you to understand that.” A remake of the school scene between Suze, Paul and Jesse in Twilight Heaven Sent .


Disclaimer: I don't own Mediator, or Jesse, much to my Jargon. Hope Meg Cabot knows how lucky she is…

A/N: Hey guys. This is just a one shot I thought of. It takes place during Twilight. It's when Paul pulls Suze aside in school and Jesse comes when he grabs her arm. This is just kind of my version of what I think could have happened. 

Summary: "That's what I feel every time he kisses me, Paul. It's no consolation. I need you to understand that." A remake of the school scene between Suze, Paul and Jesse in Twilight/ Heaven Sent .

**Bold text is text taken from the Book**

**No Consolation**

"**What can you offer her Jesse? You can't even buy her a cup of Coffee..."**

I knew Paul was expecting me to do something predictable, something defensive. It was with this in mind that I did what I did next.

I Laughed.

I mean, I wasn't trying to do the unpredictable (even though I was very proud of myself for doing do). It's just that Paul got this unbelievable smug look as he said that, like all it took was that one fact and I'd realize I really should be with him. Yeah. Right.

Jesse looked at me, bewildered.

"Querida, what…"

I couldn't stop. "You actually…. Think Paul….that…. that's… what I… want… A cup of... coffee???"

While I had now stopped laughing, I still must have looked pretty amused; if the look Paul and Jesse were giving me were any indication.

"What is it you would give me Paul? Roses... They'd be brought, with no sentimental value. An apartment in the inner city… Yeah right, like you'd do that." I smirked. "A cup of the most expensive French Mocha coffee within the country…" I trailed off, this question not a rhetorical one.

Paul looked at me, waiting for me to go on. When it became apparent to him I wasn't going to continue until he answered, he said,

"If that's what you want Suze, I could give you any coffee you like. I could give you **anything** you'd like."

I stared at him for a minute, as if contemplating his offer until I stared him straight in the eye, completely serious.

"I don't drink coffee Paul. And I don't like roses. I don't want an inner city apartment. If you knew me at all Paul, you'd know that." I turned to Jesse. "Jesse, what are my favourite flowers?"

He looked surprised by my question, and then answered, "Orchids, of all colours. However, you especially like white ones."

I smiled. "And why would I never want to live in an inner city apartment?"

"You spent all your childhood in the city. Every since coming here, all you've dreamed of doing is living close to the beach."

I snuck a look at Paul but whether he was angry, dejected or embarrassed, I couldn't tell.

"And why don't I drink coffee Jesse?"

He smiled, realising where I was going with this. "When you were 5, your father gave you a try of his. You liked it so much that that night you snuck down to the Kitchen and spooned an entire jar into your mouth. You were sick that next day and you can't stand the taste of coffee since. You don't really drink tea either, unless you're feeling overly agitated."

I smiled again. And Paul actually thought he could compete with that??? I turned towards him.

"Paul, you hardly know me, not really. You wouldn't have known any of the things Jesse just said, and not just because I've never told you. It's because you never asked or took the time to find out."

Paul actually had the nerve to look hurt.

"Suze, I want to know those things. But you never even give me the time of day. If you hadn't met Jesse first…"

I shook my head. "I don't choose you, Paul. And it wouldn't matter even if I hadn't have met Jesse first. You're one of those guys who knows how cute he is and won't take no for an answer."

I hadn't realised till now that Jesse had moved closer to me, placing a reassuring hand on the small of my back, stroking the inch of skin that was exposed. I took a breath, about to start again, but Paul beat me to it.

"But you feel something for me Suze. I know you do." He glanced smugly at Jesse before continuing. "I felt it when we kissed. You can't deny it."

The hand on the small of my back faltered its calming strokes. I put my hand behind my back, squeezed his, and then took a step forward. I didn't want Jesse to get the wrong idea.

Paul was smirking at Jesse, oblivious to my earlier gesture.

"Paul, look at me. You're a good kisser. O.k. you caught me, I'll give you that. And you know it." I took a step forward and Paul even looked hopeful for a minute. "When you kiss me, there's that split second, a split second when there's like a spark. It's that spark that makes you think, 'geez, he's a really good kisser', and then after that split second, it's gone. There's just emptiness, a shell. I realise who's kissing me and it feels wrong. It feels wrong when you kiss me."

Everything was silent for a second. I really hoped that Jesse didn't dematerialise before I could do what I planed to do next. That is, if Mr Slater over there is as predictable as I thought…

Paul just looked sceptical. "Right and I guess when you kiss Rico Suave over there that it's the complete opposite." The way he said it, however, showed that he believed far from that. Yep… Predictable.

I turned and looked at Jesse to see that he had moved a step away from where he last was, standing a metre from a column holding up the breeze way. Even better for what I had planned.

"You want to know what it's like for me to kiss Jesse, Paul. You really want to know?"

I didn't even bother waiting for an answer before I turned completely to Jesse, Ran to him, jumped, wrapped my legs around his waist, my arms around his neck and kissed him.

Lucky that Jesse has good reflexes. He caught me, one hand on my back and one hand dangerously close to a certain area I'm sure he'd feel uncomfortable about if he wasn't so worried that he'd drop me. However, this probably worked to me advantage in the end as my back was facing Paul. It was impulse but even so, I never predicted Jesse responding as he did. After all, he usually pulled away when thing got too heated, and that was when we were alone. I didn't expect him to be exactly pleased with the major PDA we were engaged in.

Of course, I should have known that to try and think about how we looked would do no good. I'm not even capable of coherent thought when Jesse Lips touch mine. So I forgot my thoughts and lost my self in the moment.

I suddenly felt myself being pushed up against the column Jesse was standing next to. It took another second to realise that Jesse had manoeuvred me around so I was pressed between him and the cold wooden column. Now I was more comfortable, I ran my lips firmly over Jesse's. He opened them to allow me entry, his tongue massaging over my own, all thoughts of Paul gone from my mind. Jesse's hand instantly moved lower to give him more leverage, the other hand moving to cup my face. His hand trembled, holding me tighter, before we broke slowly apart, needing oxygen. Our foreheads were touching, and I relished the contact. Coming back to reality, I slowly slid down to the floor. Of course, being pushed between Jesse and the column, contact was at a maximum. Jesse moaned ever so quietly, hopefully so Paul couldn't hear who was standing but 3 metres away. Without removing my eyes from Jesse's, I spoke to Paul.

"You wanted to know what it's like when I kiss Jesse, Paul… Time stops. There's nothing in the entire world apart from the two of us. I'm breathless, weightless, like I'm inches off the ground. Normal functioning is difficult, Coherent thought impossible. The only place I ever feel completely safe is in his arms. Nothing can hurt me, because he wouldn't let it. Nothing can match how unbelievably loved and cherished I feel every time he holds me." I glanced at Paul, still only centimetres from Jesse face. "That's what I feel every time he kisses me, Paul. It's no consolation. I need you to understand that."

He faltered, unsure of what to say and Jesse and I moved apart, if only slightly. "But that's all lust Suze, it's not…" but I cut him off, I knew what he was going to say.

"Do you love me Paul? Can you look me in the eye and tell me without falter that you honestly love me?"

But I knew he couldn't. Or wouldn't, I'm not sure. A second passed where Paul looked on the brink of decision. I turned to Jesse.

"Jesse, do you love me?

I did know the answer to this one though.

"Of course I love you Querida. Para siempre y siempre."

Paul finally broke his smug exterior to show what he was really feeling, pure unadulterated anger.

"I will show you yet Suze, just wait. You can't deny the inevitable."

With that, he strode out of the breeze way towards the car park until at last he was out of sight. I sighed as soon as he left until I felt a pair of warm reassuring arms encircle me, sheltering me. Jesse then leant down, kissing me softly on the space between my shoulder and neck and then resting his head in the crook of my neck.

I turned around after a moment and looked him in the eye.

"I love you Jesse de Silva. Don't you ever forget that, no matter what anyone says. Don't you dare doubt that."

But I didn't give him a chance to answer before I again captured his lips with my own. When we finally parted, he smiled down at me in his arms.

"Te Armo Querida. Te armo.

And at that moment, it didn't really matter that I would still have to deal with Paul, or that Jesse was still a ghost and still living in the rectory. None of it mattered because I was there in Jesse's arms again and nothing could ever hurt me here. Because he wouldn't let it.

A/N: Well, that's it. It was just a stray thought flying round. You'll notice that there is actually a quote from the TV show Alias in there, if you can spot it. It felt right for that moment. Also there were things in the books that Suze would think that I think she could have said aloud. If things seem familiar, that's probably why… The ending is also similar to the end of Darkest hour/ Grave doubts. I liked that one, so it stays. Deal with it… LOL

Translations: Para siempre y siempre Forever and always

Drop me a line guys, I want to know what you think.

Oh, and I am still working on Afterglow, I haven't forgotten, but between writers block and the hectic school holidays, I haven't had time to update. I'm sorry and I'm back to writing the next chapter now.

Love Mel


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